Jokes

Discussion in 'Everything else Archive' started by Jools, Sep 1, 2014.

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  1. Jools

    Jools Forum Pro

    Couldn't find a thread for this, so thought I'd start one :D

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2014
  2. Banjoman

    Banjoman Forum Ambassador

    Change is inevitable... except in the case of a vending machine :D

    ----

    "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? "

    -Been there, done that-
     
    Last edited by moderator: Sep 2, 2014
    Nala777, Sister3, Sue46 and 12 others like this.
  3. lilbayberry

    lilbayberry Forum Apprentice

  4. Banjoman

    Banjoman Forum Ambassador

    Oh Jools, you're so sensitive... quit editing and deleting your posts!
    This jokes for you.

    A grasshopper walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a libation.
    The bartender pours him a tall, frothy mug and says "You know... we have a drink named after you."
    To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Bob?" xD:music::D
     
    Nala777, Sue46, leannkat and 7 others like this.
  5. puppiesnponies

    puppiesnponies Living Forum Legend

    My 'sentence' so far will be 25 years in December and going for life!xD
     
    Nala777, Sue46, trishap58 and 11 others like this.
  6. Banjoman

    Banjoman Forum Ambassador

    What are the 3 Rings of Life ?

    The Engagement Ring... The Wedding Ring... and lastly, the suffering :inlove::pxD

    Congrats PnP ! Just celebrated my 20th.
     
    Nala777, Sue46, CylentLea123 and 11 others like this.
  7. watershipdown

    watershipdown Forum Apprentice

  8. Jools

    Jools Forum Pro

    [​IMG]
     
    MARLYMAR, Doc425, IVANCICA30 and 5 others like this.
  9. spotsbox

    spotsbox Forum Demigod

    Really???? 25 on January 3!:D (of course, that's the first date anniversary, but hey, still counts! :pxD)

    [​IMG]
     
    Sue46, MARLYMAR, Doc425 and 5 others like this.
  10. sofi!!!

    sofi!!! Regular

    Good evening everyone !
    Mrs Cameron, a primary teacher, was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

    "All right children, let's take an example," Mrs Cameron said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"

    Little Tony raises his hand, and with a confident smile says, "You'd be his wife." :music:
     
    Sue46, pickles60, MARLYMAR and 13 others like this.
  11. spotsbox

    spotsbox Forum Demigod

    [​IMG]
     
    tlcsquared, Sue46, MsTheaP and 13 others like this.
  12. Jools

    Jools Forum Pro

    I think Tech support here must use this form xD

    Computer Problem Report Form


    1. Describe your problem:
    __________________________________________
    2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
    __________________________________________
    3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
    __________________________________________
    __________________________________________

    4. Problem Severity:

    A. Minor__
    B. Minor__
    C. Minor__
    D. Trivial__


    5. Nature of the problem:

    A. Locked Up__
    B. Frozen__
    C. Hung__
    D. Shot__


    6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__
    7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__
    8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__
    9. Have you made it worse? Yes__
    10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__
    11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
    12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__
    13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
    14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? __________________________________________
    15. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
    __________________________________________
    16. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
    __________________________________________
    17. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
    18. How does this problem make you feel?
    __________________________________________
    19. Tell me about your childhood.
    __________________________________________
    20. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__
    21. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__

    Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form.
    Please allow 1-week response time so that the problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.
     
    Sue46, leannkat, MARLYMAR and 23 others like this.
  13. spotsbox

    spotsbox Forum Demigod

    AMN50, Sue46, Jazac and 11 others like this.
  14. Arielh

    Arielh Living Forum Legend

  15. solotime

    solotime Count Count

    But where's the ipad air?
     
    IVANCICA30, dgirl_200 and Arielh like this.
  16. sofi!!!

    sofi!!! Regular

    [​IMG] ....hahahaah :music:
     
  17. lilbayberry

    lilbayberry Forum Apprentice

  18. smiley2emc

    smiley2emc Someday Author

    i hope i dont offend anyone with this one
    [​IMG]
     
  19. Bhodho

    Bhodho Count Count

    I never finish anythi
     
  20. Arielh

    Arielh Living Forum Legend