Jokes

davidbl1th007.....

 

A "Horse" walks into a pub, walks up to the bar counter & asks the barman for a beer.........
The barman - Shocked, says ok - that will be $20 !!!!
The horse pays for the beer, and start drinking it........
Still confused, the barman said to the horse, you know - we don't see a lot of horses in this pub ?????
The Horse replied - I can see why, for the price you charge for a beer..........................

 

What do you call a train loaded with toffee?

A chew chew train!

 

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.

 

Two Birds flying side by side...........
Next moment a Jet plane, came past at a hellofaspeed !!!
1st bird: Dude, I which I could fly that fast....
2nd bird: You would too, if your rear end was on fire.......................

 

A clean desk bespeaks an empty mind . . . or your spouse is mad at you.

 

Did you hear about the Chameleon who couldn't figure out how to change colors?
Seems he had a Reptile Dysfunction

 

Why did the orange take a prune to the party?

Because it couldn't find a date....

 

This must be first base

 

What happened when the cat swallowed a ball of wool?

It had mittens.

 

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking...
... And then I saw her face

 

@Banjoman. I was being very dense and you can call me blonde, but it took me until now to get it

 

2 Cannibals, walking through the woods "looking for dinner".........
They came across a beautiful woman.........
The Dad cannibal replied - let's take her home and eat Mom..............

Two guys- "brick layers by trade", in a mental institute, got transferred by plane........
The plane crashes in the Desert & they are the only survivors...........
They look around & there is just sand everywhere........
The one bricklayer said, Dude we need too start running, before they send the Bricks............

 

I have a wee problem with the XXL peach
And wonder if BP has a lesson to teach...
Our regular peach is a beautiful red
but the XXL version is orange instead !

What does this mean, - how did it come about?
I'm doing Sherlock-sleuthing - I have to find out...
Will I be That Person who causes consternation?
But has Our Game now got Genetic Modification?

Oh BP! - in the name of fruit haste
You have soiled and let this games rep. go to waste !
I am kinda pleased that here we cannot taste
This peach probably tastes like wallpaper paste !

I think no other fruit changes in this way
Please, one and all - please have your 'say' !
We must adhere to our standards, when we come to play
And Genetic modification... - well, it must go away !

Calling All peach lovers! Send a message upstairs
Fast fruits shouldn't change - just like the pears !
All peaches be red, instead of That Orange..!
(OOps.... Nothing rhymes with........... )




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Mom, Dad & there son is driving through the "Wildlife sanctuary".........
The boy is very excited about all the animals, and waving through the open rear window of the car......
Suddenly they got to a herd of Ostriches, and he is very excited about these birds !!!
Next moment the 1 ostrich start running to the rear window & pecking the ~edit~ out of this boy.........
After the incident, and the boy full of scars.... they drove off and the boy replied, Not very happy - Crazy...weird Duck.

 

In honor of the fishing event
<Ya think? And last but not least, this must be why our perfect casts get not-so-perfect catches>

 

Oh spots....I'll be his(the hunky guy) fishing partner anytime. I loved all your photos!!!!

 

I know, right! At least my fishing partner baits my hooks for me...well, most of the time.