Say Something Silly

I once ate a clock. It was very time-consuming!

 

I'm afraid of escalators, so I take steps to avoid them.

 

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!

 

What's the problem with scientists? Periodically they're wrong.

 

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

 

As a child, my family's menu's 2 choices were eat it or else.

 

@puppiesnponies , actually mine was 'sit there til you finish'. As a picky eater, I tried various ways to 'finish'. Spinach? Sneak it in the dog's dish. Busted - even she wouldn't eat it! Broccoli? Stuff it down the hollow legs of our kitchen table or in the box of my 45rpms! I disliked pretty much everything except for potatoes, carrots, and meat (except liver!)

 

Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.

 

Of course I talk to myself; Sometimes I need expert advice.

 

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

 

HA HA HA.......classic

 

I don't trust trees. They're shady.

 

Why did the thief hire a maid to plan his vacation? He wanted a clean getaway.

 

From my dental hygienist's wall...

You don't have to brush all of your teeth....only the ones you want to keep

 

How did one tectonic plate apologize to the other?

"My fault."

 

I sold the vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.

 

Dogs can't see inside your body, but CAT s can.

 

How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they are all on the dark side.

 

“Stressed” is just “desserts” spelled backward.

 

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.