Jokes

1. Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

2. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

 

"Bhodho woke up one morning to discover his house is on fire.
He quickly picked up his phone to call the fire service.
When they answered, he said: 'Hello? Is that the combustion officer? Please gravitate here with immediate acceleration, because a gigantic conflagration has just engulfed my domiciliary habitation'.
Before the officer could look for a dictionary to check the meaning of the words...
- The house was already down..."

 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 

Do you remember earlier this year when Farmers were getting all upset that the algorithm was all upset that the majority of the pens were giving out Beaver dens and dams ?
Well, just to end the year on a proper laugh here is some Revenge !!!

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to the armadillo that it could be done!

 

Why can't Aggie farmers raise chickens?

Spoiler

They plant the eggs too deep.

 

Oh boy, a new one for my Aggie friends! I'm sure it will endear me to them.

 

It is true that the stork ...
- Oh, Angela, you're already pretty big girl, how can you ask such embarrassing questions?
- But, Mom, I wanted to ask if it's true that the stork eat snakes ..

 

They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.

 

Advertising in a shop: "Amnesia Shampoo: Forget about dandruff!"

 

Can you guys spot the spy?

 

After completing the experiment "How much money can spend a woman", scientists have declared bankruptcy.

 

During the Second World War on a building in London was stuck next poster: "Enroll yourself in the army paratroopers. In today's more dangerous to cross the street than to parachute jump. "
Under the banner someone had added: "I'd love to enlist, but recruiting office it's across the street."

 

A skeleton walks in to a bar and orders a beer... and a mop.

 

Strange, I thought they preferred their drinks... Whiskey Dry

 

good idea for my dog
die of laughter

happy farming boys