Neighbour apology

Hi all, I've been asked by my neighbour kim.com2000 to post an apology on her behalf after the recent grumbles regarding spamming and repeated sugar questions.

Kim has said she understands what has annoyed people and won't do it again. I myself have explained to her in the kindest way I could what my take on the situation is and have been pretty clear on what elements of her conduct people have got cross with.

You may not be aware that Kim is a very young player, which is the only reason I'm getting involved at all. I do understand the irritation here, but if I could ask you to consider ignoring posts that annoy you it might be a gentler way of sending the same message, and more appropriate given her age and how upset she's feeling about things at the moment.

Anyway, sorry again on Kim's behalf, and thanks guys. xx

 

Here's the thing, betty, this same apology has been made over and over and over and over and over and over (get the gist of it?) again. Then what pops up???? That's right, another post which somehow involves sugar May I ask in advance if the same thing will happen when she is going to be needing salt? She may be young but I still find this behavior unacceptable (which is the word I used for my 3 children when they were "young") and all of these apologies and promises really need to cease bc they're really nothing more than "gas" in the wind Pretty sure we will see another post within a few weeks Normally I keep these types of opinions to myself as that is what my mother taught me. However, the Libra side in me (which usually strives for peace, balance and harmony) sometimes gets to the point of having "enough" and I will react to the situation. This is me reacting

 

Kim is young, yes, but she is not a baby. If she is old enough to be playing this game without parental supervision then she is old enough to know how to behave herself like a well mannered human being. I can certainly forgive someone who is new to forums who doesn't understand how they work, but this is not an issue of a once-off mistake that has been corrected and she has learnt from. She has been told time and time and time and time again how to conduct herself, and she simply does not listen - and then goes to play the victim. It is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

She had the opportunity to be forgiven - because we understand that people make mistakes. But she continued to be greedy, then called people haters, then threw a temper tantrum, then ran away from the forum, and then came back again asking for people to donate to her like she's a charity. And repeated. Multiple times. She had the opportunity to make the mistake, apologise, learn, and participate in this forum in a rational manner like everyone else, but she chose not to. She chose to act like a baby and make the same errors over and over again knowing how people would respond and knowing that it was the wrong thing to do, and in spite of knowing she was doing the wrong thing, continued to make other members of the forum out to be the bad guys.

I am not at all taking this out on you, betty, because it's not your fault, and you are incredible for passing on this message when Kim deserves none of your generosity - so please don't feel that this is an attack on you at all. It is not.

She says she will not do it again, but she has said that after every issue. In fact, here:

These don't include the initial outburst which has apparently been deleted altogether

 

SantaClaus .... Are you really squigglegiggle writing under a new name? I see your join date was after squigglegiggle left the forum and after many of the above quoted posts. Your choice of words, style of writing etc is very much the same.

Betty, thanks for your post. I had realised that Kim is young and I suspect that English is not her native language so perhaps things do not come out quite the way she intended. If I had a £ for every time my children apologised and then at a later date committed the same or similar offence (which children, lets face it, do) I would be a very rich person indeed. But they are children and an element of tolerance is required. It was very kind and thoughtful of you to post on her behalf.

 

Thank you for your post betty

 

Thanks for responding guys, I do understand your feelings and I'm aware of the history. You're all totally within your rights to do whatever you think best, of course. I'm just saying, perhaps silently ignoring bad behaviour and rewarding good is a kinder way to go, given her age and fairly delicate emotional state (there may well be a little more going on here than meets the eye..). I'd rather risk being too gentle than too rough is all. I'm a Libra too - can you tell? Anyway, I've done my neighbourly duty, so there you have it. Love to all xx

 

No, I'm not. I joined the game a few years ago but never really got into it, and I decided a few days ago to try to get back into it. Oddly, squigglegiggle is one of my few neighbours. She told me to read those posts so I did. Because I wanted to be neighbours with Kim and she said I should know what I was getting myself in for first. I didn't even realise I had a style of writing

 

I entirely agree with this.

Thank you betty, Kim is lucky to have you as a neighbour

 

thanks x

 

SantaClaus, what a big coincidence !!! Squigglegiggle being your neighbour and you wanting Kim to be a neighbour. I really could have sworn you were sqigglegiggle.... I was a bit suspicious after reading your comments in the feedback thread and was then almost positive after reading your post here... But of course squigglegiggle would not be hypocritical enough to make a post, leave the forum and then a week later sign up under another name. But it really is uncanny how much alike you both seem with choice of words, emphasis, arguments etc .... my mistake however and I do apologise if I caused any offence.

 

Sorry but, as you can see from the posts above, this isn't the first time she's done this and I doubt it will be the last. It's the same thing every time. She spams until people can't take it anymore and call her out on her behavior, then she cries and apologizes to the community & mods (if we're lucky enough to dodge another temper tantrum), swearing that she has learned her lesson and that she won't do it again, and begs us to forgive her and to not hate her or think that she's annoying/greedy/etc. Then she lets a few weeks pass before repeating the cycle all over again.

What makes this time any different?

It's pretty apparent to anyone who reads her posts that she is quite young, and I think this community let her get away with as much as she has for this reason. She is also very prone to tantrums and I feel that most people tried their best to word their replies carefully so as not to provoke her. But when we're too gentle with her, she doesn't seem to understand what we're trying to get at. And if we ignore her posts altogether, she spams even more until she finally gets our attention.

We're at a loss as to what to do. She's an emotionally fragile child who can't handle being called out on her bad behavior... but she also can't seem to take a hint. That doesn't leave us with a lot of options. Ignoring her bad behavior doesn't seem to be working and there wasn't really any good behavior to speak of. What else is left? Trying to get her to understand that her behavior is unacceptable without hurting her feelings seems almost impossible at this point.

It was very kind of you to pass on this message on Kim's behalf, though. I just hope you last longer than her other neighbors...

 

I think this discussion is a little too personal, and would call for it too be closed.

The mods will deal with any spam.

 

Yes, I have a feeling this thread will be shut down as soon as one of the mods see it.

 

I hope nobody feels it was inappropriate of me to start this thread - it was done in good faith, which people seem to have understood. I wasn't aiming to rekindle old arguments that are not my business. A young neighbour asked me to apologise on her behalf and ask for general forgiveness, which I (fairly reluctantly) agreed to. I also tried to mediate a bit, hoping that she'd find she was possibly welcome, or at least not actively opposed, in coming back on and trying to behave better in future. I didn't like that she seemed so upset and felt a responsibility to try to help because of her age. I have no reason other than her word to believe this to be what she intends. Nobody needs to defend themselves here - she admits her etiquette was really poor and nobody else is being criticised. If mods find this thread inappropriate, please do close. Whether or not it's deemed constructive depends on the replies I guess! xxx

 

Hi betty I don't think your post was inappropriate.

As far as I am concerned she is very welcome to come back. A good place to start would be to read a lot in the forum and then to write (relevant posts) in existing threads, rather than starting new threads

 

Betty it is kind of you that you want to help. You are a very good neighbor( I know that from experience)

KC one small advice. You don't need to feel nervous about leveling fast on your farm or in confectionary. You need to enjoy playing Farmerama.

 

Thanks Ariel, you're an XXL Peach xx

 

Hello everyone,

Yes, the thread will be closed (if anything, it would be best deleted) since it's so sensitive and getting so personal, targeting some players in particular, analysing behaviour, making statements and accusations, and it's best to move on before it gets completely out of hand - and one way or another, from all the past experiences - we know it will. This is not a topic that should be discussed here in the first place, and it's saddening to have such a mood in the community.

Let's take a deep breath, and focus on some positive things It's a lovely Saturday!
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Best regards,
teddy.bear