non gifting new neighbours

Has anyone else had my problem with non gifting new neighbours? I accepted 3 new low level neighbours, put them in my rota for gifts, then wondered if I had received any gifts from them. I checked and found for the 6 days I had them as neighbours I had gifted twice but got nothing back. So I tried to delete them but have to wait another day.
Is this some kind of scam, I don't understand. I will be very cautious in future. New neighbours will get gifts from me after I get a gift from them!

 

If they are new, maybe they don't know they can gift, or don't know how to. You could try messaging them to ask what gifts they like and say what gift you would prefer.
If you don't get any response to that, delete 'em!

 

You have to wait a week before deleting any new neighbour. In the past I have asked new neighbours what gift they'd like to receive and then told them what I wanted which works most of the time.

 

It's definitely not a scam. Some people just don't gift. It's not obligatory, although some people seem to think they deserve a constant stream of free gifts from all their neighbours. It's not a major part of the game and it isn't going to determine the extent to which you can successfully participate in the game, but if you really need to be getting gifts from all your neighbours, send them a message saying that's a requirement of being your neighbour.

I'm personally the opposite. I don't like to add people as a neighbour if they believe they deserve or are entitled to gifts, or that I'm obliged to send them anything. I think that it's greedy and rude to demand presents from neighbours and I'm a bit shocked that there are so many people out there who feel it is a basic right to receive gifts from each neighbour.

If you need something (such as sugar, toolbox items, drops etc.) then ask, and I'm sure your neighbours will be happy to help you out. But you're not entitled to any gifts, gifting is not an obligation of your neighbours, and they aren't trying to "scam" you (how would that even work?) simply because they don't send daily gifts. It really says something about consumerism that people feel this way.

 

I've had neighbors that never gifted, no big deal to me.. I can still get ep when they level up, and I do try to send msg to them when therm goes red also.,many of my neighbors dropped off and were replaced. Some of them may have permanently left the game too.

 

I think that's a bit harsh SantaClaus.

The way I see it is that the main point of having neighbors (that you don't know) is exchanging gifts. It don't see the point of having a neighbor that don't post in the forum, that I don't exchange igm with, and never gifts me, then there is just no interaction at all (except the one way - of me gifting them!).

Like others have said, when I get a new neighbor, I send an igm message asking which daily gift they want, and that I would like toolboxes. If they reply I send whatever they ask for if not I send toolboxes. If they don't send gifts back (over some length of time) I have no problem deleting them. This of course doesn't apply to people I know (from the forum or igm)

 

I know there is no obligation to send gifts to neighbors, but those gifts are freebies that can help out a lot for lower level players (not that I'm checking Neighbor Requests by level, or the obligatory sentence about how often they are playing).....
My problem always was how to distribute the available gifts. After the requirement to have a certain number of neighbors to keep the meadow open was lifted, I decided to go the lazy way, after players dropped out of my neighbor list I didn't replace them. Now I've got seven neighbors who receive a daily gift (if they want to or not). Of course there is some communication about preferences, some like Toolboxes others prefer Sugar or Herbal Elixir. It's especially easy during events, everyone gets the event gift, or on Baby Boom Days Pheromones....
One thing I don't waste time on, is checking if there is a gift in return. Also when the activity turns red I usually don't bother, unless I know the player....if one of the seven spots is available I accept the first request coming in....no one has to send an affidavit about how they deal with gifts......As I said those gifts are freebies, some valuable, some not, but I prefer to enjoy the game my way without getting troubled by thoughts if A send a gift or not, or if B is going to drop off the list.

 

It's surely not as harsh as deleting neighbours because you don't get a couple of presents a week from them. You wouldn't ignore your RL friends for not giving you free gifts every few days - how is it anything but exceptionally greedy and harsh to delete neighbours when they don't shower you in presents?

To me it seems yet another indication of how self-interested our society has become when people say the main point of having neighbours that you don't know is "exchanging gifts". You claim that there is no point in having neighbours that you don't interact with - and I will counter this point later - but if there is still an interaction via IGM/the forum, why should they still be obliged to gift you? If the point is interaction, then that can occur with or without gifts. I am a non-gifter. I won't go through my list every day and gift my maximum 7 neighbours. If someone wants something, I'm happy to send it. If someone needs help, I'm happy to send it. But I also have a real life outside of the farm and it is simply not a good use of my time to be sending little packets of virtual sugar to other accounts around the world. It's just not. If people want to delete me as their neighbour because I choose to focus on my work instead of boosting their farm then they can, and I hope they do - I personally find it a horrendous trait and don't particularly want to be neighbours with anyone who does intend to use me as a gift source (nor do I want the association with someone who feels they are entitled to me giving them that time). Whilst I don't gift, there are several neighbours I interact with on a daily basis via IGM or the forum. The interaction exists without gifting. How is this relationship pointless?

In terms of needing interaction for an in-game relationship like neighbouring to be worthwhile, I again counter this. Some on my neighbour list I never speak to, never interact with. I don't have a clue who they are. I added them to clear my fields and they did the same with me. That works for us. If they no longer need or want me as a neighbour they are perfectly entitled to delete me, that's fine. Evidently they don't need or want to do so, as they haven't yet - so I'm clearly working for them and serving my purpose as an EP-providing, field-clearing silent entity, and that's just fine.

The point is, all neighbour relationships work one way or another. Without gifting. There are plenty of uses and values for them besides being sources of presents. And I find it very concerning that the presents are not only the most important part to so many people, but something over which people will actually delete neighbours because they aren't being as showered in presents as they want to be.

 

My point is, they are not really my friends, since we have no interaction. I made clear that this does not apply to those who I communicate with (forum or in game), which I do consider my friends

 

So you deliberately exclude from your life those who don't give you presents and gifts? Because they're not worth anything? They only provide an invisible service, but nothing tangible with material worth?

 

SantaClaus, I can see there is no point in continuing this conversation, so I will just wish you a good day

 

Well as a totally new player can I just say that there is a HUGE amount of info to absorb and learn at first. They might not realize they can gift or exactly how to go about it. I would welcome any correspondence from my new neighbors to try to learn their likes and dislikes. I'm trying to work out how to do a rotational gifting as I can only send 5. It's hard to remember who I have gifted or not already.

I would agree that it might be a good idea to send them a helpful message first before just deleting them.

 

I send out a little note asking what gift/gifts they would like. Also with newer players I let them know that I can answer game questions.
The only non-gifting neighbors I've deleted are those who expect me as a higher level player to send them "special" gifts and won't even bother to send a little something "ever", and I mean ever. Once I asked this player if they could please send me a drop item and was told "sorry I only send gifts to my friends" (that was after being asked to send a CAC to help with an event)!
So yes, there are selfish players out to get gifts but not caring enough to return them, but there are also those who just don't know any better.
I also agree with Mir..... neighbors are neighborly... In RL don't we help out our neighbors?

 

Hi Clash (if I may shorten your name, do say if you'd rather I didn't!?) I personally prefer having neighbours that help each other out and speak to each other even if it's just once in a while. I enjoy the interaction both igm and on the forum and have made some lovely farmer friends on here!! Gifting each other isn't an obligation, however it's surprising how much these gifts per day can add up to help players out with their stocks of items over a period of time. I used to have a mix of neighbours, some msgd, some didn't, some sent gifts, some didn't and some have left the game along the way for whatever reason. After playing this game for several months now and becoming a regular on the forum, I prefer to have neighbours that interact with me and generally speaking, the players that do this usually gift aswell..I think it's more to do with helping each other than anything else! Plus ultimately, the game you are playing is for yourself, so you choose if you want to gift or not, or chat or not, or delete neighbours or not....we're all aware this is a game (or should be) so decide for yourself how you want to do it. And just to make you feel better, I gift every day I'm on to my max limit and try to rotate fairly but as I don't write it down and my memory is not the best, I do probably (unintentionally) miss someone out or gift the same ones again etc but then I don't make a note of everything that's sent to me, I'm just grateful for it! Read the info, learn as you go along (as I'm sure we all continue to do so!) and decide for yourself!! Have fun..that's the main thing!!!

 

Yeeks !!! Santa or Squiggle !! Why do you have to be so argumentative !! You do it frequently !! We are all entitled to an opinion, it only needs stating once and does not need re-hashing over and over with the end result of a thread getting cluttered... I feel that you keep trying to force your opinion on people when your initial post would suffice. We are all different and have different views on things. Please play nice........

My opinion, which may not be shared by all, is that neighbours are necessary initially to clear land and I still have quite a few of my original ones. Not all of my neighbours speak English so there is very little communication between us.. I set out with the expectation that I will get nothing from neighbours and therefore if I don't, I am not disappointed. I am more inclined to gift lower level neighbours as they are the ones who need the most help ... I also sometimes gift people who are not my neighbours without being asked as it is sometimes the right and encouraging thing to do. If I am asked for something, I happily give it if it is within my means. I do not see these people as being 'greedy', they just want or need some extra help. I have never had repeated requests either from anyone so I am unsure about what I would do in that situation. Often I have no time to 'gift' as real life means I have to rush in, harvest, plant , log out and get on with more important things. This is just a game and although some people take it very seriously, it is not real life and generally real money we are talking about, it is about time and effort which in some ways is more valuable as it cannot be replaced. It is down to the individual about what to expect or not expect from neighbours and then to act accordingly as they wish

 

I played a different online game where we could gift each of our neighbors once daily, so I was a bit surprised to see that I could only give 5 gifts per day. I have tried to rotate through, but now I see I have two low level neighbors who are no longer playing, so why waste a gift? I also tend to gift reciprocally (is that a word?) to those neighbors who have gifted me...which means you can kind of get caught in a loop, if they do the same. Not meaning to intentionally ignore my other neighbors at all. I do see where there's a thing on the Wisdom Tree where it ups the number of gifts you can send daily...this may be worth spending the stars on just so I don't feel like I'm always slighting the same neighbors.

 

@sewinglady I too have done this. I gift back. Afew times a month I will gift everyone on my list in a rota, but the rest of the mont, "The squeaky wheels get the grease!"

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. It seems like ever since squigglegiggle returned as SantaClaus, she's been nothing but argumentative.

 

I have had many strategies for gifting: rotation, return gifts to senders of gifts, gift those who gift (in rotation) and those who don't from time to time. But I have rarely missed sending gifts - it is something that we can do that costs nothing (except when I forget how many I have sent and dip into BBs by mistake LOL!).

Gifts are not something I expect. With the SOS thread, I try to send from at least one of my farms, if not both, if there are not too many people asking for help but if there are lots, my neighbours understand that I will be sending to those in the SOS thread.

Thanks for being wonderful neighbours by the way.

I have had neighbours who never or rarely send gifts - that's fine. I don't mind but I may send them something every once in a while. I don't send to those whose thermometer begins to drop and who haven't sent gifts for a while (not for any other reason than I think they are not playing and I would rather send to an active player).

One last thing, I rarely delete a neighbour - even when they have gone red, I hang on till they actually drop off the radar. I just like to give them the benefit of the doubt that they have other things happening and may come back (a few have, a few have just ... gone).

I really would like to have enough gifts to give all my neighbours something every day but then I would still need more when it comes to events and the SOS thread so it would never be enough!

I try to remember that a gift is exactly that - a gift. It is funny but I receive quite a few gifts from people who I either don't know or whose name I don't recognise! Some are people who I have gifted from the SOS thread but some I think just are kind enough to send me gifts. I thank them but I just cannot return to everybody ... I have to think of my oh so loyal neighbours outside of events lol!

 

This is an issue I have grappled with as well! Yes, at the start of playing this game...I took any neighbor to clear my field! I also have several neighbors from long ago. I have a good mix of people on my neighbor list. Some very dear friends, some aquaintances and some strangers(yes that Never gift...even during events).

The change for me....came with the mentor system. I became close with a couple of my chicks and we didn't want the relationship to end or become distant...plus they "really needed" neighbors to clear their field. So I deleted some of the "strangers"(or an occasional blinking red) to accomadate space for my chickadees.
I also have neighbors that only gift during events...which is fine too! I gift on rotation....most of the time....just because its easier to keep track of.