Scariest or Funniest Animal, Insect or Reptile Moment

It happens to us all, that innocent goldfish begging to be fed that suddenly leaps like a starving piranha for the pellet giving you a fright, the smug looking monkeys at the wildlife park that systematically dismantle your car around you while you look on helplessly and mentally calculate how much your insurance will go up by ... and horror... are you actually covered for this? And finally that spider that rears it elephant size head out of the plughole and leers at you ... it was that big, honest ... well perhaps not, but it seemed so at the time.... What was your moment?

Mine was one lovely non-typical warm and balmy spring day, spaniel on lead and walking nicely to heel, I was doing a favour for my sweetheart (soon after to be demoted to jerk) and checking a field of cows and calves for him.

I entered the field and yes, group of cattle and calves to my left several hundred yards away, all heads up and cuds being chewed, same to the right, another group, happily sitting there swatting flees and chewing cuds ... nothing at all looking flat and dead, sick or even mildly anxious. Dog and I proceeded to head diagonally across the field towards a fenced off wood which would offer no end of delights for a gundog in training.

Halfway across the field and merrily anticipating the delights of the fun to come the peace was suddenly shattered by the sound of drumming hooves. A quick glance over my shoulder confirmed the following :- 1) She was big, very very big. 2) She looked angry. 3) She was fast, very very fast..... 4) She had horns, nasty looking sharp ones...... and.... was she really snorting fire and brimstone out her nostrils?

I took off across that field at a speed that would put most Olympic sprinters to shame, the well trained spaniel did the same, but in the opposite direction, the spaniel, I think squeezed back through the gate we had come through but my healthy sense of self preservation had kicked in and I was too busy to notice. I vaulted a barbed wire fence (still have the scars to prove it) into the wood just as I could feel that Hell’s version of a so called placid cow’s, as I had been so reliably informed by the newly demoted Jerk, breath on the nape of my neck .... When she looked like she was going to climb the fence and come over after me I started looking for suitable tree’s but had to settle for playing Hide and Seek with a very irate cow, a deep muddy ditch and a footbridge...... I did not appreciate being called a ‘woos’ by the Jerk some 20 minutes later when rescued ..........

I still have nightmares about that cow.

 

You have nice reflexes, I believe you acted on instinct and no matter what the others think you did the wright thing at the moment, a few scratches are better than boing stomped on and may be shattered a bone, my reflexes doesn't help me like you, when I was in high school I attended a military school for the students whose father have served in the army or any branch in the armed forces, my father was Major at the army and he was the commander of 2 artillery legions before he died young at the age of 32 in 1971, so that qualified me to be accepted there, it was a small school with limited classes and it was located in the army camp at the border of the city, the school was very near to my house, and what separated it from the neighborhood is big piece of land that is deserted and used to burn crashed cars then there is an abandoned railway and a station that had been stopped working for economical reasons, that area is full of insects, rodents, reptiles (small ones) and snakes, and stray dogs that keeps howling all night long, I was fascinated with snakes but afraid from them, the kids in school use to bring baby snakes and drop it into my back under my shirt and I start the crazy dance to get the snake out of my back by pulling my shirt, shaking and stomping, to reach the school I have to go the city entrance then use the army camp main gate and double back all the way to reach the school, around 30 to 40 minutes of walking, which was too much for the students, so they break an opening in the barbed wire fence to have a short cut that saves time, the army answer to this by throwing another fence over the old one, and over the years it became a maze of barbed wires which was dangerous to cross, but teenagers can't be stopped and always find a way in, when I start using the short cut I needed a guide for the first 2 or 3 days until I was able to pass it alone, -edit-, but what really scared me there that after a few months in the same spot, the school ended and I graduated and preparing for college, it was a Sunday morning, I went to get my certificate and it was stupid of me that I did not put on my shoes, I was just wearing a slipper in my feet and stepped on a snake that was hiding in a small bush in the ground, it was a red small poisonous snake that kill in the hour, people call it in our language Zaarah, which means shorty, I was frozen with fear in my place for a few minutes and the small bush prevented the bite to reach my feet and then it ran away, that was the scare of my life that lift instantly a small spot of white hair on the back of my head, and I was shy to tell about it until now.

 

My funniest scare was a number of years ago. I was at home and needed to visit the loo. As I was about to sit down, to my horror, my eye caught movement in the bowl. When I looked again I realised it was a frog. There was just no way I was removing it or using the toilet. I phoned some friends and begged for help. They were actually just leaving home to go out for dinner. Their dinner had to wait. They first had to make a detour to my house and remove the frog. Only then could they head out for their meal. And I could finally visit the bathroom.

 

oh, I have several...but the best one is only funny now - years later.

I have my own little in home espresso machine and Sunday mornings were for the big Sunday Seattle Times and a nice hot mocha. I make the mocha, set it on the table, DH brings in the paper, sets it on the table. I finish cleaning up my 'mocha mess' and sit down to enjoy the paper and my coffee...and I pick up my coffee cup and take a swig, put it back down and there's a spider on the top of my coffee. Drowned. Dead. Didn't matter. I almost drank him down. Still don't know how he got there, but DH's theory is that he came in on the paper...

 

I was going camping with some friends and one of them had picked me up in the wee hours of the morning. We had been taking my stuff out the backdoor for about 10 min. Finally I only had a grocery sack with a few items for the long car ride one which was a very recently opened package of Fig Newtons (these are yummy fig filled little cake cookies for those that don't know). My friend went out the door to the car and I set the bag out the back door and went to make sure everything was locked up and turned off through the house.

Just as I went out the back door and pulled the locked door shut behind me I hear my friend yelling from a distance. I look down and at my feet is a rather large skunk that is rooting around in the grocery sack for the open package of cookies. I was caught between the screen door and the locked door at my back and just stood there frozen and petrified. Fortunately he got the cookies and dragged them off under some bushes at the other end of the porch. I grabbed the sack and hightailed it out of there. It would have been a whole different vacation then I had anticipated to start it off being sprayed by a skunk.

 

Lol Cashstrummer !!! Thank goodness we don't have skunks here in the UK !!! Knowing my luck I would get hit on a weekly basis and I understand that they stink something awful and it is impossible to get rid of it

 

I have a ton of these type of stories but I will pick one from my childhood as it basically scarred me for life. One of my older brothers had snuck a large corn snake into the house and was keeping it in his room in a shoe box. The snake of course escaped. He was the only one who knew it was somewhere in the house and since he didn't want to get in to trouble he said nothing.

I awoke one night to find it curled up in the middle of my stomach. It was dark I could only see it was a snake but not what kind it was.
To say I was scared is a huge understatement I was paralyzed with fear. I managed to knock loud enough on the wall next to my bed to awaken my parents and my Dad came into to see what was going on. I think he was pretty frightened as well and thought it was a copperhead until my brother, who's room was across the hall piped up that it was only a corn snake.

Snake got removed and my brother lost his driving privileges for the entire summer which was a much larger punishment than he would have had in the first place.

I still have nightmares about that stupid snake.

 

Oh, LDCrow! Just reading about that raises the hair on the back of my neck!! How AWFUL!!

Clash & kmellish - We do have skunks here in Massachusetts, and they are really not harmful or normally agressive at all. They only spray if YOU scare THEM or make them feel threatened. My deck faces a small forest and wetland, and I often get visits from the local skunks. (YES! Their scent when sprayed is chokingly, tear-producingly awful!) But they can also be really sweet little animals if you can put aside fear and see them for themselves. For several years there was a Mama skunk that, each Spring, would bring her new babies up on my deck just to poke around and see what's what. (Could have had something to do with havng a Bar-b-que there.) She would come right up to the glass door and look in, so I'd talk to her very gently, right there, face to nose. Her babies were just about the cutest things I'd ever seen! And they didn't smell!! (Yet.) She brought her new babies - two of them...and one year three! - for about four yrs., and then I didn't see them anymore. Just recently there have been visits again from another skunk.
But the whole point is that skunks won't bother you if you don't bother them, and as long as you don't scare or interfere with them they are wonderful to watch!!
Sorry, a little off topic, but too sweet not to mention. I've loved skunks ever since......just as long as they like me too.

 

I have 2 snake stories....
One fall day my Grandparents and I went up to their cabin. It was pretty cold, so my Grandpa(Pop) made a fire while we brought in our stuff from the car(I was about 7 yrs). Once we were done the 3 of us stood by the fireplace to warm up. My Grandmother was a decorator and a always collected twigs and branches and had made an attractive wood arrangement on the mantle. My Pop leaned against the mantle and put his arm over it. That's when my Grandma & I gasped.....One of those branches started moving...Yikes..it was a snake!!!! He obviously had come in for warmth from the outdoors...but the fire was too hot! Eeek

The other was...my parents had just finished building a modern adobe house with floor to ceiling windows.. out in the country. It had rock flooring and was an open concept( Way before its time...LOL). My sister and I(we were 11) were in the family room watching Sat. morning cartoons...and my Mom & brother(13) were coming down the hall towards us....when they made a horrible sound.....we looked over to see them run backwards arm in arm. It looked like they were doing a dance routine. My sis & I thought it was hilarious....until they started pointing...It was a rattlesnake...all coiled up...and rattling!!!! My Dad was out on the ranch(this was way before cell phones)...so it was up to us to deal with it. My sis & I were no use....standing & shrieking on the couch! My brother was a few steps from his bedroom...and asked if he could get his BB gun...which my Mom nodded(she was too scared to speak at this point). He pumped up his gun...and started shooting. I remember the ping ping sounds.
We were crouched down on the couch...so as not to get hit from the flying BB's. After many shots, it finally was motionless! My brother jumped over it and ran & got a broom and pushed it out the front door. Yeah!! His 13th B-day present had saved us all!
My Mom & Dad weren't even upset that they had to replace 2 giant windows because of BB's dings in them. Needless to say, our parents never had to remind us ever again to shut the doors!!!

 

Farmlily3 I know skunks don't bother you unless you bother them. However I came perilously close to stepping on this one and startling them is a good way to get sprayed since they use it as a defense mechanism. Good thing it was far more interested in those cookies than it was in me. I've bathed many a dog in tomato juice after a run in with a skunk. The smell is outstandingly awful and hideously long lasting.

Anyway back to the topic at hand.

 

LOL, Clash, you are so right! He would not have appreciated being stepped on at all....but that's the first time I've heard of cookies being a 'weapon of self defense', so to speak!
All's well that ends well....especially when skunks are involved!

 

I'll add a funny one strangely enough also involving a snake. Some years ago my Mom decided she wanted to try to grow some grapes. So they were really her pet project and the rest of us were not to mess with them. It took quite a few years but she did start having successful harvests. I was helping out and doing some of the harvesting. I reached into this one vine only to find a very large black snake. Being a rational human I yelped fairly loudly dropped my basket of grapes trampled several melons in the row behind me and ended up sprawled out on my back in the melon patch. My Mom on the other hand is laughing so hard she can barely breath.

Turns out she had been buying very realistic looking plastic snakes and putting them in her vines to keep the birds from eating the fruit.

 

Oh, LDCrow, that is so funny I laughed out loud....sort of like your Mom. Thank you for sharing that with us!!

Snakes must be pretty popular. I have a snake story, too....but not very funny, unfortunately.
I lived in a chalet for a year, in the N.C. Mtns across from Chimney Rock near Lake Lure.....where the wildlife lives with you (very nearly), and the snakes grow big and fat! One day I was sweeping the front deck, in spite of a loud buzzing noise sort of like Cicadas on speed. It was quite unusually irritating for Cicadas. As I moved around the deck, the noise would get louder, and then less so, but continuous. I hurried because it was getting really irritating - but I only had to do around and under the wrought iron sofa and coffee table and I'd be through. They were just to the left of the door to the living room. I was just putting the broom in position to sweep under the sofa when the noise got so loud and irritating that it made the back of my neck tighten and I just got fed up, opened the door instead, and went in, leaving the sofa area undone.
This probably saved my life. Later, when the noise was all gone, I went back outside to finish the job. I bent down to look under the sofa.....and froze, almost throwing up as I saw the biggest imprint in the dirt that I had ever seen of a coiled snake - absolutely huge!! That's when realization flooded over me that the noise was him, rattling his warning and intentions, getting ready to strike, especially when I was about to sweep right where he was!! There was no one else close by to help, and he was more than big enough to flatten me just from the weight of his strike.
I will never forget that moment, and it still makes me sick to think of it. Staring death in the face is unspeakable, even when it's just after the fact.

 

Oh farmlily, I'm so glad you didn't get bit, especially by a snake that size! You also, abubaddi, that must have been terrifying. I've heard that smaller rattlers are actually more dangerous, as their venom tends to be more potent because it's concentrated, whether it's true or not I don't know nor do I wish to find out . We had a hound once who loved to be roaded, which means we'd open the truck door and let him get out and run alongside/behind the truck for exercise. It's a common sight around here to see people running their dogs on the back roads. Ben loved, loved, loved to run. So we were out for a drive on a gravel road, no one else around, we'd been up and going since before dawn, go ahead and let the dog out for a run. Whiles he's sniffing the berries and marking his territory we start down the road, get about 1/4 mile or so ahead of him, and here's a HUGE rattlesnake in the road, it was literally as long as our truck is wide and about the circumference of my husband's bicep, which is large. It had been sunning itself in the middle of the road, and when we came along it started for the road ditch, moving with its head up, which I guess is a sign of extreme aggression. Thankfully Ben hadn't caught up to us yet, so we backed up a ways and called him to the truck and got him loaded up again, then my husband took care of the snake.

Another snake story, since that's the predominant theme here, when we were kids my sister (she's 3 years older than me) were out playing one day when we found a garter snake, which for those who may not know is a small non-poisonous snake. Oh how cool, let's take it home and show mom, maybe she'll let us keep it! So we put it in a bucket and went merrily on our way home. Mom was in the house taking a break from cleaning, and she was sitting in this rocking recliner reading a book and not really paying attention to us. So we come running in all excited, mom look what we found, can we keep it? And my sister reaches into the bucket, pulls out the snake, and thrusts it at my mom, who looks up, screams, pushes backwards in her chair, and promptly flips it over. Needless to say, we didn't get to keep the snake.

The scariest nature moment I've had I can think of was some years back. My husband and I spend a lot of time hiking and recreating in our state. One of my biggest fears since I started going with him was that I would run into a grizzly bear and there wouldn't be a tree in sight for me to climb (not that I could anyway). Some years ago we were in the mountains, and we'd just split up while hiking not 5 minutes before, with him taking one trail and me taking another, the plan being to meet back at the truck. So I'm walking down this trail into a clear cut, the wind's in my face, and I come to a switchback in the trail with a grassy wet spot right off the side - perfect bear spot. Sure enough, a bear stands up and looks at me from maybe 20 yards away. I tried every which way I could to convince myself it was a brown colored black bear (not afraid of them, plus I was armed with bear spray and a rifle), but somehow I instantly knew it wasn't. I started to back up, but froze instead (I still think I got a little divine help there), looked around - not a tree taller than 3 feet in sight . But wait, it gets better! As I'm watching the bear and he's watching me, he looks down to his right (don't actually know what gender, just speaking generally), at which point I realize, there's a SECOND furry brown back almost hidden in the grass. So now I'm figuring I'm really in for it, I've got a mother and cub, then the second bear stands up and it's almost the same size as the first, so I think, great, a mating pair. The second bear loses interest and goes back to feeding, but the first bear looks to it's left, and hey, it's a trio! So I'm by myself, frozen in the middle of the trail with 3 grizzlies in front of me and no trees to be had. In all this time, which felt like forever but probably wasn't more than a few minutes, the first grizzly never dropped back to all fours, and even tho it was off the side of the road and a little lower than me, it was still taller than my 5'9". About that time a swirl of wind hit the back of my neck and the bears got a whiff of me, and poof! They ran off into the trees. Unfortunately, I had to walk past those same trees to get back to the truck. The first step I took after having been frozen in fright, I almost fell, I was shaking so badly.

edit: I forgot to mention, after time to calm down and think things thru, plus talking to my DH who also saw them later that evening, they were 3 sub-adult bears who were no longer with mom, but hadn't split up yet, and were just hanging out together for a while. Even as juveniles, they were still bigger than most of the black bears we have in this country .

 

2 stories from our very rustic cabin in Mineral King, CA. There is No electricity, phone or really anything but a few cabins.

I'm from the generation of parents that always said "go out & play"...to basically get us kids out from under their feet.

My sister & I were about 11 or 12(same age..step sisters)...Mom had directed us to take a hike to the river...about a hour & half down the mountain from our cabin. We headed off, but decided to take a shortcut through the forest. About an hour later we come to the edge of a small meadow...then we see the cutest thing in the world...2 furry little baby bear cubs.(Awww) Stupidly we take a few steps toward them...When, you guessed it...the Huge Mama bear rears up and is roaring at us. She looked to be 10 feet tall. We froze, walked backward a few steps, turned and ran up the steep, heavily dense forest all the way back to the cabin!!! It took us nearly a half hour, and had skinned knees from a few falls, scratches from branches and completely out of breath...basically scared to death! It took about 5 minutes to be able to relate what had happened to our parents. Their reply...."don't go off the trail"..ever!

My other Mineral King story is from when I was a young Mom of 2 boys(ages 1 & 3).
My DH(LOL) and Dad had gone on a Alaskan fishing trip for 10 days....so Mom & I went up to the cabin for a long weekend. I was big into decorating our new home...and had a fishing theme for my eldest boy...so I had an idea I needed a branch to use as a curtain rod.
Mom, myself & my 2 boys go delicately into the forest with an axe to cut a long branch. I am straddling a big fallen tree and started to chop a branch when all of the sudden...lots of buzzing and and screaming!!!(coming from me!)
Thankfully my Mother had run off with my 2 boys...but I was stung repeatedly by a swarm of wasps(between my legs...and I was wearing shorts..... Owie!)
The next 24 hours was the most painful and embarrassing of my entire life!!! Mom had to keep dabbing my nether region with calamine lotion...while I sat in a (uh-hum) yoga position in my undies on the deck.
Friends of my parents kept stopping by asking what was wrong with me? This counts as the Absolute stupidest thing I've ever done!

 

Yikes! I bet that taught you to bee careful around trees! I had a similar experience, tho thankfully a little higher up. Was on a fire crew for the forest service in college. Sent us out to thin trees in a section near a lake so forest goers could enjoy the view (hmmm...me...chainsaw...no recipe for disaster there ). Stepped up to a smallish pine, leaned over to start my cut, felt hot stinging sensation on my chest. Realized I was standing on top of a wasp's nest built into the ground and was surround by many wasps angry I was stepping on their home . Dropped chainsaw and ran away, but didn't scream, because didn't want the rest of the crew (I was the only female, lol) calling me a wuss and making fun of me. Waited about 10 minutes then went back for the chainsaw, but left the tree I was going to cut - figured if the wasps wanted it that bad, they could have it .

By the way, my mom always used baking soda mixed with a little water to make a paste when we got stung. Just smear it on, let it dry, then clean it off; it takes the stinger out. Of course, not much help for wasps, since they bite not sting.

 

LOL spots! Yes, wasps are really mean when they are angry!!!
Wow!! I'm very impressed that you were on a fire crew for the forest service in college!!! You go girl!!!!

 

This one is a little bit about animals, and a little bit about the local flora. My neighbor absolutely detests animals. She can't even stand the thought of one of her children wanting a fish. I am absolutely in love with animals!! I keep 2 75 Gallon tropical fish tanks and I have a few dogs currently. Everyone around here knows of my love for creatures and often call upon me to take in and injured or unwanted animal until I can find it a home. My vet and I are on a first name basis. I'd be surprised if he didn't have my payment information memorized!! Well, my neighbor called me over and said that a cat had left a litter of baby kittens under the shed in her back yard. She wanted me to see if I could get them and take them away to my house to foster them until they had homes. Well, I went out back, got on my knees in front of her shed and put the whole length of my right forearm on the ground to balance while I surveyed the situation. I was down there long enough to count three of the little cuties when I realized My arm and knees were ON FIRE!! I ran into her house and just started drowning my arm in cold water, crying, shifting my weight back and forth dancing at the sink. Oh man THIS WAS PAIN!! It was some time before I could talk, by then my arm and knees had swollen pretty bad. She handed me a bottle of Benadryl and a dose cup, I just took the top off of that bottle and DRANK! LOL After some research, we determined that I had plopped myself right down into some stinging nettles. We also found out that the main way to get rid of them is to kill them with fire. I stayed covered in a paste of baking soda for the rest of the day as I also medicated with a number of tasty adult beverages. So, now, whenever she speaks of her back yard I have this Tourette's like reaction and say "NOPE, kill it with FIRE!"
Y'all are so lucky after your run ins with bears and snakes and wasps and such. But a green leafy plant right in our back yards can be just as scary!

 

Oh stinging nettles, yep that is some extreme pain right there. The best thing to reduce the pain is meat tenderizer, doesn't take it away completely but it does help. The baking soda and water paste is the best for wasp and bee stings and for scorpions and non-venomous snake bites the best thing to put on them is chewing tobacco. The tobacco would be the leafy kind and you can just wet it with water you don't have to actually chew it. (yuck!!)

I live where there are more things that can bite or sting you than you can possibly imagine. So it's good to know a few remedies.

 

WoooooooWWWW!!! All these incredible stories!! It's a wonder any of us ever make it to, or through, adulthood!!!! (But I'm so glad we did! You guys are awesome!!)


P.S. The best all-around pain reliever and healer for bites and stings I've ever come across is HONEY! Just slather it on whatever it is (not sure about snakebites!- probably not!! But it is an antivenin and pain reliever) and the pain is gone in about one minute flat. When I was stung by a very angry wasp, I decided to see how much pain I could stand (actually, I was busy and didn't want to take the time to do anything for it!....Duhhhh) About 1-2 minutes later I was running for the kitchen and the honey! It had already swollen and was an angry red - and...Man!...did that hurt! I watched it when I put the honey on....and within just 20-30 seconds the pain became bearable, and was almost completely gone shortly thereafter. Same for the redness, and the swelling too. Not ten minutes since I'd been stung, it was as if it never happened!! I was awestruck - that was my first experience with honey.

LDCrow, where do you live - with all those biting, stinging things????