Jokes

1. Why blondes are looking in the mirror with closed eyes? To see how they looks when are sleeping ...

2. A blonde takes a job at the public domain. She have to paint the band in the middle of a country road. Her boss tells her that she is on probation and must paint at least 2 miles a day, if she want to keep the job. Boss verified at the end of the day, he sees that the first day she had four kilometers, double the average. The next day he was slightly disappointed because the blonde didn't paint only 2 km. He thinks that this is the average anyway and overlook. But the third day the blonde had painted just 1 km, he says:
- What's your problem? Any disease, a malfunction of the equipment? What's stopping you to do 2 miles a day?
- You know, every day I am getting farther from bucket!

 

Nine Fun Facts
1.You can't wash your eyes with soap
2.You can't count your hair
3.You can't breathe though your nose with your tongue out
4.You just tried number three
6.When you did try number three you found out it possible but you look like a dog
7.You're smiling right now because you were fooled
8.You skipped number five
9.You just check to see if there is a number five

 

solotime hahaha! Good one Now I feel fooled..

1. Bobby to the guests:
- What a pity that finally you leave!

2. - Hey, Bobby! We want to wallpapering the living room and is as big as yours. When you papered how many rolls have you buy?
- 20.
- Thank You.
After two weeks they meet:
- Hey, you fool! I bought 20 rolls and remained 7.
- Me too...

3. - Bobby, the doctor is here!
- Tell him I can't see him, I have cold.

4. - Bobby, what would you do when you will grow up?
- I dream to be a billionaire, like my father.
- Why, your father is a billionaire?
- No, he's dreaming that too.

5. At recruitment, Bobby says to the military doctor:
- I'm nearsighted, so I'm unincorporated!
- How do you prove that?
- See that nail in the wall?
- Yup ...
- Well, I don't see it!

 

Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing. "Why are you crying?" asked the little boy. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl. When he heard this, the little boy started to cry. "Why are you crying?" asked the girl. The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test."
edit

​

 

Easter Edition joke

 

1. - Bobby, I was to the riddle and she told me that you don't love me anymore!
- Why you spend money on nonsense? That I could tell you too! For Free ...

2. Bobby fills in a personal transcript for employment. On the date of birth, he wrote on August 15.
- What year? asks the clerk of the employment office.
- Every year!

3. Bobby was walking with his father on the street. In one corner, a very fat man was weighing. The weighing machine was broken and shows only about 10 kilograms.
- Look, dad, this man is hollow ...

 

That's hurt !! ​

 

I found the most perfect t-shirt at wal-mart the other day, I can't wait to wear it for my husband. It says:

I'm not arguing
I'm explaining why I'm right

 

LOL, spots! That IS a perfect shirt!

 

Oh solo, spots and farmingfreebird - Thanks for laughs!!! You made my day!!!

 

Love it solo!

 

Q: What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A: A nervous wreck!

 

Uhhhm.... do we have porcupines on the farm? (how does one write that.... in dutch we call them litterally stingy pig or thorny pig)



Daaaangerous animal to have!

 

1. - Dad, you've told me once that you were kicked out of school?
- Yes, Bobby. But why you ask?
- Because history repeats ...

2. - Mom, give me candy - says Bobby.
- Bobby, before eating I don't give you any candy!
- If you don't give me candy, I'll show to dog where you hid the sausages.

3. Bobby at doctor's office of the regiment:
- Doctor, I feel very bad!
- Where you feel sick?
- Sir, here in the army!