Jokes

solotime so cute ^^

1. - Mom, today I stopped George to make a prank to the teacher.
- Nice of you. How was it?
- It was like this: George put on the chair a thumbtack. When the teacher was about to sit down, I have quickly pulled the chair.

2. At 11 PM at Stuart bedroom someone's knocking at the window.
- Who's there?
- Bobby, your brother ... Do you have ink?
- I don't have!
At 1 am again hear beats in the window.
- Who's there?
- It's me Bobby, your brother. You still don't have ink?
- No! Let me sleep!
At 3 am again hear beats the window.
- I brought ink ...

 

You don't know how true that picture is, solo! I've got squirrels that will follow me all over the yard if I don't put out peanuts for them.

 

Spoiler: Click For Second Joke

 

Can you believe I lasted less than a day as a retail store greeter?

A few hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman came into the store with her two children, yelling at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly,
'Good morning, and welcome. Nice children you have there; are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'NO, they ain't twins! The oldest one's nine, and the other one's seven. Why in the world would ANYONE think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone would make a baby with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

Right after that HR asked me to come see them. I'm probably not going to put that job on my resume.

 

See, this is why I insist on a camper Nothing fancy, just a heater and a bed, but it keeps mama happy .

Always good to double check your gear before you leave the campground:

 

A farmer living near us won $1 million from the lottery. I asked if he was going to retire. He said, "No, I'm gonna farm until the money runs out."

Sounds like Farmerama in RL.

 

Joke 1:
5 Ways to Make A Loss
1. Buy Pheromones from the Farm Supplies Shop (1 @ 1000 CC) and sell them in the market at 500 CC each.
2. Buy crafting food from the market and sell them at 0.10 CC each.
3, Buy chickens at 200 CC and resell them at 201 CC. (you will lose because of commission fee)
4. I put a , instead of a . at number 3
5. You looked at number 3 and saw that number 4 was true. However, I stole all your CCs when you were not looking at me so that you have a loss...

Joke 2:
Where do your cows go when you are not in your farm?

Spoiler: Answer

They go to the moo-vie theater in the city.

This is my first time creating jokes, so please forgive me if it is not funny.

edit: added words to avoid confusion

 

LOL - They are funny, penguin!! Keep it up!!

 

1. The difference between complete and finished:
- If you marry the right person, you are complete!
- If you marry the wrong person, you're done!
- And if you get catch by the right person with the wrong person then you are completely finished!

2. - Gheo, you know that John is in the hospital?
- That's not possible! I saw him yesterday walking on the boulevard with a beautiful woman!
- Exactly. His wife saw him too.

 

From the Signals catalog...

There are two kinds of people:

Those who can extrapolate conclusions from incomplete data

 

Thanks for the laughs farmers