Jokes

The essence of playing Farmerama:

 

At psychology class, the teacher shows students the three states of the human psyche: the state of calm, irritation and annoyance. He takes out his cell phone and form a number and says:
- Hello, good evening, I would like to talk with Gill, said the Professor.
- Gill doesn't live here! says the person (calmly).
- This was the calm, said the Professor.
He forms same phone number and says:
- Hello, good evening, Gill is home?
- Sir, I said, no Gill live here, 'said the same person (with irritation).
The teacher says:
- This was the state of irritation.
Forms for the third time the same phone number and said:
- Hello, good evening, Gill is home?
The person, downright annoying, says:
- Sir, damn you ... there is no Gill here!
These were the three states.
Bobby, a smart student, comes in front and says:
- There is another state in the human psyche, a state of despair.
He take the phone, dial the same number and says:
- Hello, I'm Gill, did someone looked for me? ...

 

Very funny bygo_chris

 

It's not easy to make me laugh at a joke...but this one is great!

 

​

 

I was laughing out loud when I saw this so I decided to share...

 

Always remember:
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose . . .

But you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

 

Mathematics Teacher: If I gave you 2 CCs and another 2, how many will you have?
Student: 5 CCs.
Mathematics Teacher: Please listen carefully. If I gave you 2 CCs and another 2, how many will you have?
Student: 5 CCs.
Mathematics Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 BBs and another 2, how many will you have?
Student: 4 BBs.
Mathematics Teacher: Good. If I gave you 2 CCs and another 2, how many will you have?
Student: 5 CCs.
Mathematics Teacher: How did you get 5 instead of 4?
Student: Because I already have a CC, so that I can buy lunch!

 

1. A mother writes an e-mail to her son:
Dear Toni,
How are you? Here we all miss you. Please get off the computer and come down to the kitchen to eat.
Love, Mom.

2. Before, if you upset someone, you were called to a duel, and now you're out from they friends list ...

3. I have never seen a man cry, until I formatted the hard drive!

4. The most damaging thing for the nervous system is low speed internet!

5. - Honey, did you put password on the computer?
- Yes, dear.
- What's the password?
- Our wedding date.
- Damn it ...

6. Officer of civil status:- Do you accept as your Facebook status to change from unmarried / single to married?
Bride:- Yes.
groom:- Yes.
Officer of civil status:- May the witnesses to come close and click the like.

7. First day of school. First class. The son of a programmer is asked by teacher:
- Do you know the alphabet?
- Yes.
- Say it.
- Q, W, E, R, T, Y ...

 

1. We invented a human computer. When he make a mistake, blamed on another computer.

2. -edit-

3. Signs of the keyboard were thought to throw a party, but they didn't wanted to invite the point. Point takes courage and go to the party. At the gate, bodyguards escape and delete:
- Who are you?
- I am the star, but I used gel ...

 

1. A family of tomatoes was walking down the street. The dad notices that the smallest tomato was lagging behind, so he yells,"Ketchup!"
2. Why didn't the lobster share his plankton with his dad? Because he was a little shellfish!
3. What did the banana say to the judge? I'll be sure to win my case on a-peel!
4. What did one strawberry say to the other on Valentine's Day? I love you berry much!

 

Spoiler: Answer

Finding half a worm....