King of the Hill

This is an oldie, and I don't know how long it will last . All are welcome .

Game rules: conquer the hill from the person before you. No teaming up, however you may use someone else's stuff if you think it will help you. Pushing and shoving is allowed so long as you remember it is all just pretend and have a little fun.

PS ~ no "backsies", eg you can't say, "oh you didnt really kick me off because my <insert thing here> stopped you". You can however incorporate it, eg "well that didnt' work quite as well as you hoped, because of <insert thing here> I only fell half way down the cliff, instead of the whole way.

Here goes:

Out on my hike this morning, I discovered a new hill. It has great views all around it and is a great vantage point to keep others out. I put up my tent, set up my camping chair, get a fire going. Up here, I feel like the King of the World. My Hill!

 

I have just wandered up to what used to MY hill where I would sit and watch the lovely butterflies landing on the beautiful flowers I planted there - and - shock horror - I see someone has put up a tent right on my spot. So I set up a wind machine and blow the tent and its occupant far, far away. And here I am back on top of MY HILL! Mwah, mwah, mwah!

 

Noticed a hornets nest in the tree high above you. Continue to chuck little rocks at it until it breaks off and the whole swarm chases you and your butterflies away. My Hill!

 

Hey! Don't throw rocks at my friends the Hornets! Ouch - make that ex-friends!

So you think you're King of the Hill do you? Well, don't look now but my pet Pterodactyl is hovering above your head and is preparing to carry you away ... from MY HILL!

 

I found a great ice cream van willing to do anything for enough money. Hires him to play his tempting music all day long until he manages to lure you away like the pied piper. Bye Bye. MY HILL!

 

I buy all the ice cream from the ice cream man and roll it into a huge ball, push it to the top of the hill, roll you up in it and push you all the down from MY HILL!

 

Hmmm, I see a new football stadium by is getting ready to open in a few hours. I quickly print up some fliers for the opening party that kicks off 3 hours before and sends one to you via a mail owl, accompanied by streamers and balloons. Realising its fancy dress you pack up your gear and head off. MY HILL!

 

I party tiill I can't party any more , my fancy dress is pretty much wrecked and then persuade Farmer-Broke to loan me Illy-the-Ladybug and his platoon of Ladybugs who gently lift you while you are sleeping and take you far, far away to another hill identical to what is now MY HILL!

 

Not so quick my dear, I geotagged my hill, so I can't be fooled that easily.
With with a nuclear super-powered confetti cannon, I blast you halfway to bahamerama. Watch out for sharks! MY HILL!

 

The cannon shoots illy to Shipwreck Bay while ct is blinded by falling coffetti and the nuclear cannon disables the geotag allowing pnp to take the hill. It is now MY HILL!

 

Wow, a sneak attack from behind.

*sets up a large sound system in the next valley, playing sounds of puppies crying and howling*
Rushing up to you, I yell "Quick pnp, something's wrong. Help them!" As you run off I chuck your stuff out after you, and set about installing barbed wire fencing on...MY HILL!

 

I melt the barbed wire fencing with my super fancy barbed wire fence gun, roll you in your own sleeping bag, making sure to zip it right up to the top, then push you downhill very, very quickly and you land in a river of sticky toffee (I think!), leaving me to enjoy the comfort of solitude on MY HILL!

 

Yum I lurrrve toffee.

*Sets up a series of green leaf brush fires all around the bottom of the hill, to smoke you out*. There, now that's done I can head on up wearing my gas mask and wait for the smoke to clear. Might eat some more toffee if I feel like it. Ahhh, relaxation. MY HILL!

 

Been droving my herd of animals of sheep, alpaca and llamas for a long way, came into the valley, chanced upon this lovely hill for grazing. Set up my camping gear and decided to stay for a long while for my herd to replenish their energy.
I am a diverse wool farmer, and no harming the animals with all your destructive weapons!
Look what you've done to this lovely piece of greenness, my herd will revitalize this valley with their manure and looks like rain is on the way to quench nature's thirst. Finally a chance for some decent zzzzzzzs. MY HILL!

 

I attach a stretcher to a couple of your critters, gently attaching some harnesses to avoid harming them in any way. With the help of your gentle sheep, I nudge you onto the stretcher and send your entourage over to Ctindaldavies' farm where she is growing some luscious event crops. I clear up all the manure, send it over to my farm, pick up a book and settle down for a peaceful read on MY HILL!

 

I don't travel alone with my herd, always have Champ the sheepdog guarding us, oh did I not mention that! Champ only obey commands from me alone, and will not be enticed by food from strangers! And I am a light sleeper! Champ warns me with a soft woof of something is going on even if I could not hear it, I quietly set him off to investigate, saw you approaching with your stretcher, he sees it as a treat, bite you on the bum as you tried to befriend him, and chased you off MY HILL!

 

Oh, Champ is such a good sheepdog. I send a herd of unruly sheep up the hill and Champ cannot resist trying to round them up but they run off down the hill and far away leaving me to sneak up behind you wearing a monster mask. You are so frightened, you overtake Champ and the sheep trying to get away from me.
That just leaves me to relax, sipping a nice cool pina colada and survey all that is MY HILL!

 

Oh thank goodness it's only you and I don't have to worry about Champ.

High above the clouds in Wonder Woman's invisible jet, I skydive in silently. ps, bad landing, sorry my steel cap boots accidentally kick you in the head. ps, happened again. I'm really sorry. so sorry, oops third time's the charm. Just to show you how sorry I am, I gather up some of those pretty flowers you apparently planted a long time ago and send you off with bunches of them in the ambulance. Feel better soon. Ciao. MY HILL!

 

Ow! My head hurts!

Some of those flowers I planted a long time ago aren't actually flowers ... and you didn't pick them and send them with me in the ambulance. They are Wonder Woman eating monsters so now I have MY HILL back!

 

You have neglected to keep weeds out of your flowers and poison ivy has sprung up causing you a terrible case of itching. You go in search of jewelweed but can't find any so you must travel to a desert for some aloe. I bring my pet raccoon to eat the poison ivy leaving me to enjoy the view of MY HILL.